“Failure to Progress” by B. Bergin-Foss

26 hours of labor silenced your inner goddess, 

fear seeped through your skin,

“We have to get her in there. The OR is closing 

up for the night,” a doctor’s whispered confirmation

of her unspoken timeline for just another patient forced 

your hand to sign on the line while her patience clocked out.

You were not prepared for the inner fight of failing 

to progress as an expectant mother

Forever led 

to believe that giving 

birth required 

medical intervention, led 

to believe birth was scary, too painful. 

Led away from your instincts.

You breathed in this fear without questioning 

if the air was tainted.

Only thought of the journey back in time, wished to walk 

out of the clinic

to find a different more supportive option

to alter the birth plan you were instructed to not write.  

You were told not to worry. 

You were told to trust medicine. 

You were told standard procedure.

They ignored your plea 

ignored your body

Your body 

on your back

became a number on a clipboard

scribed failure.

Like the magician’s assistant, you waited to be sawed 

apart. The blue sheet strung up prevented 

you from witnessing the doctor’s act. Her slicing, 

pulling, rearranging, tugging, taking. 

Despite the anesthesia, this moment remained unnumbed. 

Salty tears 

puddled in your ears, and drained

into your hair when you rocked your head from side to side 

in disbelief, you felt your husband wipe tears

from your face, since your hands were bound 

at your sides,

his hands traveled to his face, 

wiped his tears away, blended your sorrows together.

About B. Bergin-Foss

She/Her/Hers

B. Bergin-Foss enjoys the burn in her lungs after a long run, allows her mind to cloud dance for inspiration, and believes saving honey bees is important work. She has been teaching middle school for the past 15 years, and lives in Carbondale, CO with her family, backyard chickens, and two colonies of honey bees. She is an MFA candidate in the nature writing program through Western Colorado University. Her work has been featured in Colorado Central Magazine.